Hey, May!
First things first: middle-aged reflections, the 90s, a gift guide, and pages from my meme-oir
May 6, 2023
(It’s not the first of the month, but it’s still the FIRST WEEK of the month.)
You should know this about me: I never grow tired of seeing the Justin Timberlake memes reminding us all, “it’s gonna be May.” Even when someone posts a caption-less photo or gif of Justin giving all of us a smirk on April 30th, I am delighted. As a huge *NSYNC fan growing up, it seems fitting my birthday month is introduced this way each year.
(Do you like how I teed this up so I could tell you my birthday is coming soon?)
One can’t help but get deep and reflective as another birthday approaches. We’re not promised tomorrow, so when the Lord gives us another entire trip around the sun, it’s reason to celebrate. I’m coming up on thirty-five years of life (full disclosure: I did the math on my fingers as I typed this sentence) and my upcoming tl;dr story for this month will be inspired by the question, “Who were you when you weren’t wondering who you were?”—a question Mary Laura Philpott asks in her book I Miss You When I Blink. As I began to consider how I’d answer that question, my thoughts rippled to memories of my parents at the same age.
At the time, of course, they seemed so old. But now I realize they were still so young—still thinking about the future, still making big decisions they probably didn’t feel wise enough to make. I’m sure they got excited about boring home purchases and laughed at themselves, wondering when they started to care so much about the thread count of bedsheets or great deals on fertilizer. Did they cringe when young twenty-something-year olds called them ma’am and sir? Did they linger a little longer in front of the mirror and wonder when those grey hairs and creases around their eyes started to show up?
In a full circle sort of way, when my parents were thirty-five years old, that’s when I think I was the age of being the me who wasn’t wondering who I was. What advice would younger Alicia give me (now that I’m the same age as her “old” parents)? And what parts of younger me are still very much alive and present in my life today?
Like I said, more on that later in the month! And yes, the photo above gives little hints to what I’ll be discussing.
FOR NOW, let’s talk gifts. Since my birthday and Mother’s Day (and my mother’s birthday) all take place in May, I thought I’d use this month’s First Things First email to share a little gift guide.
These are all items I currently have (or have been gifted in the past).
Paint By Sticker book | I have the masterpiece one and it’s really calming to sit and piece together a work of art like a puzzle— but it’s a puzzle where you’re told exactly where to put the piece. It also doubles as a way to (re)familiarize myself with well-known artwork.
LUGNARE candle | I’m not saying you should gift this candle in place of real flowers (because having a vase of real flowers in the house is so lovely). However, you could pair the flowers with this candle from IKEA that smells like jasmine. I love lighting this candle when I want it to smell like I have a vase of fresh flowers somewhere in my house.
Create Anyway | I’m a big fan of Ashlee’s writing and the way she is regularly encouraging women to pursue creativity. Not only is the book full of her beautiful words (this alone would be more than enough reason to buy the book), she also includes interviews with other women pursuing creative works alongside motherhood, and she gives the reader prompts to get those creative juices flowing. Not to mention, her beautiful photography is sprinkled throughout the pages. Everything about this book is a work of art.
Books on Shelves Cross-Stitch Kit | I put this on my Christmas wish list last year because I wanted to stop grabbing my phone to scroll every time I sat down. I had absolutely zero experience with cross-stitching prior to getting this kit. However, thanks to Elise’s how-to guide for beginners (included with the kit) and her “you got this” pep talk, I quickly figured it out. She also has other digital cross-stitch patterns on her site. I’m looking forward to stitching Christmas on Shelves next!
Substack Subscription | I haven’t actually received this as a gift before, but I think it’s a thoughtful gift idea! With more and more writers moving over to Substack and starting subscriptions, it might be worth asking your friend/mom/sister/etc. if there’s any Substack subscription they’ve had their eye on. I believe you can gift either a one-month or one-year subscription. If you’re looking for recommendations, here are a few to get you started:
- — Katie writes beautifully about faith, family, disability, adoption, trauma, and friendship. Let me tell you, it's worth every penny.
- — Elizabeth is a longtime journalist turned royal commentator. While she mostly does deep dives on royal history and fashion, she also covers other subjects like motherhood, career advice, and personal style.
- —the perfect Substack subscription for writers. Not only is Summer's writing lovely, she offers writing craft talks and semiannual Essay Camps (write-along nonfiction workshops).
Exhale Gift Card | I’ve been a part of this writing community since it first began and it has been the greatest investment in my writing—not to mention, I’ve formed so many friendships with fellow writers through this community! Even if you’re not a member, they offer so many great workshops and writing resources on a regular basis through their site. So, if you want to gift something to a writer, consider giving them a gift card to shop around on Exhale’s marketplace.
The Beauty of Motherhood | I would have LOVED to have this book in the early years of motherhood, and I will happily buy it for women in my life who are still in this stage of motherhood. It’s a gift mothers might not realize they need until they’re holding it in their hands, gleaning wisdom and encouragement from two women who’ve recently walked this road. This book is a collection of stories, reflective questions, and prayers written by fellow writer friends, Kim and Erin. Consider their writing to be like the friend who shows up with your favorite snack (because they could read the exhaustion in your text message)—then proceeds to wash your dishes without asking, sits on your couch folding your laundry while providing you with adult conversation as you feed the baby, then gives you a quick “you’re doing a great job, momma” before they head out the door. You know that my-cup-overfloweth feeling you have afterward? Yeah, that’s this book.
ABLE gift card | Several months ago, my purse was falling apart and my husband encouraged me to consider making my next purchase one that would last me longer than, ahem, two years. I decided to narrow my search to the selection available on ABLE. Their high-quality leather goods, handmade jewelry, apparel, denim, and shoes aren't just investment pieces for your wardrobe, they’re an investment in women around the world. They also have incredible customer service—body inclusivity, lifetime guarantee, and the option to swap sizes on your clothing purchase if your body size changes! I know I’m starting to sound like an ad, but I’m not getting any kickback for this. I genuinely love this company. I ended up getting the Rachel Crossbody and it is everything I hoped it would be. Check out ABLE’s Mother’s Day gift guides or just send her a gift card so she can find exactly what she wants. They’re currently having a 25% off sale site-wide with the code MD25.
Liturgies and Laments for the Sojourner | Time for a shameless plug, but I highly recommend this book I co-authored with my friends Heather and Tamika. If you know someone who is living outside their passport country, not only is this a book they need, it’s a book YOU need. As one reviewer said, this book “has given me a deeper insight into hardships, longings, joys, and sorrows experienced by those living outside their own culture. It will help to form my prayers for them.” With liturgies for packing, culture shock, visas and immigration, language learning, homesickness, and other cross-cultural experiences, those living abroad will be reminded they aren’t alone in their struggles. (Photo credit of the book in the gift guide goes to Anjelica Malone! I still don’t have a copy of my own book so I very much appreciate when others send me photos.)
That concludes my recommendations. What else would you add? Do you have any personal favorites (candle scents, books, subscriptions, etc.) you’d highly recommend as gifts for the awesome women in your life? Let me know!
Pages From My Meme-oir:
(related to age/aging and being middle aged because, you know, it’s my birthday month and all…)
Although the picture by stickers does have some possibility
You almost persuaded me to try the cross-stitch. 😊